When you go on a date, what will the other person notice? Will it be your outfit, your hair, your skin, your weight, your physique, your self-confidence, or your interpersonal skills? You know the answer already: all of them. If any one of these is drastically out of balance your date might have the wrong impression and the evening could be less than successful.
Some people like to focus their attention on one aspect of their “look”. In reality however, your image is made up of multiple components, all of which should impress your date as a unit simultaneously. Your image reflects what you think about yourself and how you feel you should present yourself in social situations. That’s why it’s extremely important to remember one of the more frustrating and fundamental rules of dating — that someone else’s perception of you will likely determine how that crucial first date will go.
The outside world is the ultimate judge of how we look. The good news is that you will be able to reinvent yourself in multiple ways upgrading and highlighting diverse aspects of your image in order to make a total and highly favorable impression. I don’t want to create the perception that this is all quick and easy, but small changes in several areas can add up to a big overall difference. As we work through this makeover it’s important to remember that, while outside changes are often considered superficial, they can have a dramatically positive impact on inner traits like confidence, happiness and physical health.
Your image, how the outside world (and your date) sees you, is composed of multiple components of appearance and behavior. It is often said that a “first impression” is made in the first three seconds.
Moreover first impressions tend to stick with people a long time and you may not be able to undo errors of image at a future time. People with public personas or very active social lives are usually “all put together” which means that they have thought about and attended to all of these components before leaving the house. By recognizing the aspects of image that create the overall persona, anyone can take easy steps to release their hidden outgoing and charming selves.
There are five components of your physical appearance that partially determine your image. These are:
1. Your weight
2. Your muscular physique
3. Your hair
4. Your skin
5. Your clothing.
People who try to improve one and not the others usually are unsuccessful. It may take a little extra time every day to improve and upgrade areas of weakness, but the payoff in terms of magnetic appeal can be tremendous. Remember that we are not discussing your human qualities, your knowledge base, your inner spirituality, or any other good traits. Despite the fact that “you can’t judge a book by its cover” or “appearances are deceiving” we are scrutinized carefully by friends, family, and most importantly someone we hope to get closer too. We all deal with this reality. I’m sure you are a very desirable person-but I also want you to look and act desirable.
There are two components of your behavior that also determine your image. They are your self-confidence and your interpersonal skills, and these are equally or more important than the appearance components we just discussed. Your self-confidence will reflect a positive attitude that your date will certainly appreciate. And good interpersonal skills will make the date an especially memorable experience or even more. These two components of image are learned behavior, and you are capable of mastering and improving these skills at any time. Why not do it now?
To get ready for that important date, think of the process as “inside-out, outside-in” reinvention. This acknowledges the fact that the various components of your image are interdependent. For example, putting on sexy clothing immediately changes the way you feel about yourself and perhaps even the way you stand or walk. By making a “superficial” change in your appearance you automatically radiate more self-confidence. Conversely when you interact comfortably with someone very attractive, your increased self-confidence will motivate you to attend to various issues like clothing, skincare, and weight. Change must occur therefore in two directions at the same time, so that physical, emotional, and social improvement is thought of as a single unit, not separate problems to be dealt with sequentially.
You should reinvent your image with attention to all seven components of image simultaneously as you look for companionship and love with someone very desirable, someone you may have felt incapable of meeting previously. The good qualities that you have today will certainly last you the rest of your life. By adding to them a newly reinvented and upgraded image, you will create the total package that will generate buzz, appeal, and friendship…and maybe even more.
By Dr. Stuart Fischer, physician, educator, and author of ‘The Park Avenue Diet’