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Why are you still single? You’ve asked yourself this countless times, but it’s much different when you’re asked by that attractive new guy you want to get close to. Here’s how to tackle the question and connect with his heart while you’re at it.
If you’re like me, the mere thought of a guy asking this question on a date causes you to break out in a sweat and start panicking on the spot. It hits a nerve. You feel so many difficult emotions, plus you’re worried that the answer you give will have you appearing like an undesirable cretin that no man wants!
When I was dating, I remember living in fear that the man I liked sitting across the table from me would ask this, and I worried so much about what I’d say in response that I would have a hard time concentrating on what he was actually asking. But the truth is, this can be a GREAT question to hear on a date, and a wonderful way to connect with a man. Here’s why:
Reason #1: He’s Interested
That’s right: the reason a man asks this question is because he wants to learn more about you, and is wondering why such an amazing woman hasn’t been snatched up by another man. In fact, he may be more worried that you will disqualify him, and so he’s asking you the question to see if he measures up to YOU. What he’s NOT doing is judging YOU for being single. This is something you’ve created in your own mind. Any feeling he may ever have about you being “unworthy” will come from the vibe you give off that reveals how you feel about YOU. So take this question as a positive sign, and answer it with the confidence that a woman like you deserves to have.
Reason #2: You Can Stand Out in His Mind
“It’s because I haven’t met the right guy yet.” How many of you have probably said that at one time of another? Instead of retreading the same old boring answer everyone else gives, use it to express your authentic self and stand out from the rest of the women he’s dated.
Reason #3: You Get The Opportunity To Connect To His Heart
The best way to connect to a man’s heart is to speak from yours. That means being brave and openly sharing your feelings in a way that shows you completely accept yourself and are capable of accepting him. If the question makes you feel icky, let him know it! “Wow, I feel really put on the spot. It’s a question I’ve asked myself many times, and, honestly, sometimes it makes me sad. I’m not sure I know the answer. How about you?” When a man sees that you’re okay with not feeling so great – and with all the doubts and questions that come from being single – he’ll instantly feel like he’s in the presence of a woman who won’t judge him…and he’ll want to come closer. By being honest with your answer, you open the door to true intimacy, and give him the opportunity to step inside.
By Rori Raye, www.eharmony.com