Single and Happy


February, 2011

Are you dissatisfied with your life because of being a single? Do you spend most of your time lamenting the fact that you are not in a relationship, and the rest of your time looking for a relationship.  Have you become discontent, dissatisfied, and tend to complain a lot?

You can be single and happy! It is your choice! Here are some tips from Nelson Berry to share with you this week.

1. Change your perspective on singlehood. The real problem in being single is having the wrong mindset. In truth, being single does not and should not have a major effect on your life. You should be able to find contentment and peace in yourself whether you are attached or not. You should not let a relationship, or the lack of it, be the anchor of your personality. And if you used to be single, you don’t have to change yourself once you become part of a relationship. You should have hobbies, interests – a personality – that remains even when you transition from being single to being part of a couple. Thus, being single shouldn’t really bring a significant change in who you are. Your being single does not, in any way, make you any less valuable as a person. So you have to break free from the mindset that your lack of a partner dictates who you are.

2. Confidence sells. If you are not some lonely, single person, then who are you? Once you change your mindset and take away the “singlehood label” you’ve placed on yourself, you can now focus on getting to know who you really are without anyone to dictate it for you. This way, you can focus on building and enhancing your personality. The more you know yourself and the more you expand yourself, the happier and more confident you will be. And the more confident you are on your own, the more attractive you will be to others. After all, nothing sells better than confidence.

Subliminal messages can help you improve your confidence in yourself. These are messages that are delivered to your subconscious mind to change how it works. These messages can be delivered with the use of subliminal videos and audio. Here are some examples of subliminal messages that are beneficial for the single, independent you:

I am independent and strong.

I have a high level of confidence in myself.

I am at peace with myself.

My happiness and contentment comes from within.

3. Live your life now. A lot of people put off their greatest hopes and dreams for when they already get married. Their list of goals start with getting married, and all other goals pale in comparison. They think their lives will only begin once they settle down. The truth is, there’s no need for that. You can live your own life right now; in fact, you should do everything you want to do while you still can. Once you get married, you will have more responsibilities and less freedom.

4. Use your singlehood as motivation. Most married people don’t really go out to explore and experiment in life anymore. They have a dozen other things to spend their time on. Once you get married, you’ll understand. But single people are not attached to anyone or anything, so you can still explore and experiment all you want. Instead of looking at your singlehood as a negative thing, why not see it as a motivation to get more out of life?

5. Your career is not the only option. Most people tend to think that since they’re single, they might as well pour everything they have into their careers. Focusing entirely on your career will only make you see the large gaping hole of singlehood in your life. Aside from that, if you focus too much on your career, once something goes wrong at the office, you won’t have a fallback anymore, and the more you will wallow in self-pity over not having a partner to turn to in such tough times. But if you have many things going for you, like your career, a yoga class, a book you’re reading, a charity you support, and so on, you won’t notice your lack of a relationship much.

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