The Choice

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By Serene, 22  June 2010

Sex and the City is probably the last place to get any kind of insight on relationships. But the recent movie actually had an interesting nugget of wisdom that I thought made a lot of sense. Too many of us subconsciously or consciously would like to follow certain kinds of rules and acceptable standards when it comes to relationships. We try to get married at an acceptable age.  We panic when we are still single beyond a certain age. Society tells us when the honeymoon period is over. Society tells us what kind of partner we should be looking out for and even what kind of relationships are deemed more perfect than others. He or she cannot be too fat, too thin, too tall, too short, too weird, too smart, too stupid, too culturally different, too young, and too old.

As we progress in the relationship and compare ourselves with the Jones, we start to pile on more rules just to make sure everything is normal and operating smoothly. I tried to follow the rules myself. I did all the right things in society’s eyes, getting married at a younger age. Hooking up with a person who had great credentials but was not necessarily someone I was totally in love with.

But following the rules is the last thing we should all do. Watch Sex and the City and you will know what I am talking about. Carrie, the main character, had an idea of what married life was and what she wanted. She was afraid of sinking into a certain stereotypical married lifestyle that was possibly boring and old. But she realised that you can just make up your own rules in your relationship. While we should listen to advice and check in on how we are doing in the relationship, do feel free to make your own rules and live by what you really want.

Not quite sure if you agree with me. I would love to hear your story. Share with me at serene@thechoice.co.nz