The Choice

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By Serene Tng, 25th May 2010

This might sound indulgent but when it comes to sustaining any relationship or friendship, it’s probably the small things that you do for each other everyday that matters. I never quite realised this when I was younger. I thought that when you were best friends in school, you were best friends for life. I had the most wonderful friendships in school and thought that these would just work out when one entered the workforce. But many of these friendships fizzled out. Not because what was formed was not real in school. But people grow, change and experience different things. And it is up to us to be tuned into all these. Depending on how important the friendship is, it is up to us to ask about someone else constantly. To be kept up-to-date with thoughts and emotions. Be there for significant moments.

Even in any long-term relationships, the worst thing to do is to assume you have been with each other for years, you know each other well enough that it doesn’t matter what you do for each other everyday. But you will be amazed at how much we grow and change each day. I am deeply grateful that I now have the opportunity to learn what it means to sweat the small stuff. So here are just some of the things that seem to work for me:

*  Send little emails and text messages throughout the day no matter how short and even just to say hello
* Take the time to listen to the other person’s thoughts and new ideas even though they might sound like the same ideas rehashed sometimes
* Shower with compliments. It doesn’t hurt. And you can never get enough of them
* Listen to what the person really wants and buy the right gifts for birthdays, Christmas or other special occasions
* Believe in the person, support him or her and be as honest as you can

Are there any other small stuff you have done that have gone a long way? Share with me at serene@thechoice.co.nz