A strange topic to discuss you may say. No I think it is a very important to discuss preparing to date. If you are going to involve yourself in other people’s lives by asking them to dinner and wanting to get to know them then the least you can do is make sure you are ready to this. I have encountered people who a little while into a relationship suddenly announce that they are not ready, or that it is all too soon, or they were unprepared. Maybe you have heard that too.
It is easy to dismiss such instances as people on the rebound, or making excuses but the fact is, about 33% of all people on the dating scene are not really prepared for dating and are free styling it. Some people may be on the rebound from a previous relationship, they may be looking for an escape route, or most likely they are panicking because of the new set of emotions they are facing, often unexpectedly.
Being prepared to date means making sure that mentally you are ready to meet new people and accept into the bargain that you may get on well and even fall in love. Prepare to be scared, prepare to be frightened, prepare to open yourself up to emotions and prepare to fall in love guys. Because if you don’t , you are wasting your time and worse, the time of other people.
You do not have the preordained right to play with the emotions of people, and you don’t have the right to hurt their feelings. When someone accepts a date or asks you on a date, it is because they like you and want to get to know you better. If you are not able to open yourself up to this level of interest then you are not ready to get involved an begin dating properly. I reckon that at least a third of all dates are mistakes. They are time spent with people who simply don’t want to open up and love or be loved which is why you must choose your dates carefully.
Please make sure that when preparing to date, you are really and truly over a past relationship. Dating people just to feel better about yourself will only hurt others and make you feel worse. Getting over a previous relationship can take some time and though very different, has many of the same attributes as bereavement. Be careful not to begin dating again too soon in the hope that it will pick you up. Whilst a new love can get you over your ex, you must already be some way down the line from the ex before you can let go of the past. The danger here is that you can begin comparing at every turn and ultimately panic when the new relationship goes too far too soon. Take your time and be ready first.
The danger with trying to date too soon after a previous relationship has ended is that dating should be great fun. To be on top form and be in great humor you need to be feeling very positive. This is truly essential to date successfully. Consequently when not over a previously partner, the hammer makes you feel guilty and you immediately find your mind wandering to times gone past. In turn this comes across in dates very quickly and it will be obvious to your new date that all is not well. No one dating wants to date people with emotional baggage so it is essential that you move on as soon as you feel able.
Take some time before beginning dating people to work out things about yourself. What are your strong point and what are your weaknesses. What do you think people will pick up about you that you could maybe improve. What do you like talking about, how are you when chatting on dates, how organized are you, how do you come across to others and so on. Preparation means making sure you come across well to people. This is particularly important if you have been out of the dating game for some time. It is crucial that you do everything you can to feel confident and good about yourself and even more important to be ready to handle some rejection. You are going to have to reject and be rejected before you reach the promised land.
- Make sure you are over your last relationship
- Make sure you want to have a relationship
- Make sure you are prepared to be honest about your aims
- Make sure that you are emotionally ready
- Make sure that you are able to tell the truth
- Make sure you are able to handle some rejection
- Make sure your perspective is right
- Make sure you are being serious
- Make sure you know what your dating aims are
- Make sure your confidence levels are reasonably high
- Make sure you are looking your best
- Make sure you are of positive mind
- Make sure you are prepared to wait to meet the right person
- Try not to compare new dates to your ex
- Be prepared to take a fresh approach to dating
- Remember that on all occasions dating should be fun
- Remember that when getting into the dating scene you need to be strong and have your wits about you. You need to be on form and in positive mood. You need to be ready to have fun and be entertaining and able to give of yourself. To do this you need to be emotionally prepared so do what you can for yourself before walking out onto the dating field. Be prepared to date.