The Choice

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By Serene Tng, 18th May 2010

I had an interesting encounter the other day. I was at Victoria University tutoring a class and one of the students showed a clip of Sex and the City as part of her presentation. It was the scene where Carrie Bradshaw followed a guy to Europe. I can’t remember his name or the country. After having a miserable few days of entertaining herself while he was away at work and hardly had time for her, she wanted to know if the relationship was going anywhere. It was a really poignant scene. She said she believed in love and was a real person and wanted the whole works of love and a relationship. But he seemed more interested in work and did not see what the big deal was. So while she was ranting, he was cool as a cucumber. After the clip, the student who gave the presentation asked the girls in the class if that scene gave them greater empowerment. A male student cut in, instead, and said Carrie Bradshaw was being too demanding.

It is interesting to see how we respond differently to the same scene. It was pretty obvious to me what she meant about wanting love and she was a real person but wasn’t treated like one. But yet to the guy, it’s all business and did not know what was wrong at all. It just makes me wonder if our quest for love and that certain kind of relationship is all futile and moot. Perhaps it’s all in our heads. We have been watching way too many movies. Increasingly, I am thinking we should just drop the notion of wanting to experience true love and just get on with our lives. Sometimes it is overrated. I still believe in love but maybe not the fairytale, all-consuming type that we often secretly yearn for. It may not exist.

For those holding out for that true love, this may sound a little harsh. But maybe you had it better. Share with me at serene@thechoice.co.nz