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Tradition states that every New Year you’re supposed to start life fresh and resolve to stick to a habit, commitment or lifestyle change. While positive changes are almost always a good thing, we’ve come up with five resolutions you can feel good about breaking this year.
1) Quit Waiting for Passion
“If you are waiting to be turned on by your date, you probably aren’t very proactive when it comes to love,” says Rhonda Britten, a bestselling author, founder of the Fearless Living Institute and the life coach on the Emmy Award-winning television series Starting Over. “Passion is something you must cultivate by loving your life not waiting to be loved. Get engaged and curious and soon you will feel passion where none may have existed before.”
2) Don’t Keep Waiting for Mr. Right
Forget about your expectations of finding Mr. Right as this New Year’s resolution. Having a dream date in mind actually keeps you from seeing who is in right in front of you, says Britten. She says most couples that are happy together may not have been head over heels in love when they first met. However, they continued to be curious about the other person and discovered love in the unexpected. If you have the same interests and the same outlook on marriage and family, why not share a first or second date; you’ll never know who you might meet if you never try.
3) Forget Obsessing About your Weight
Britten says that most people think they will be motivated when they have a specific goal like losing 20 pounds, yet successfully losing weight and keeping it off is based on a slow and steady progress. “If you get discouraged easily and want results now— and who doesn’t—putting a number on your weight loss may actually de-motivate you. Instead focus on eating veggies at every meal or walking to work. Actions will help you more than numbers.” We all need a balanced lifestyle, why not base your resolution on leaving the car at home and getting motivated by turning activities you already do into workouts like walking your dog or window shopping. If you love being out on the water try taking up a sport like kayaking or rowing or if you prefer solid ground, try hiking or mountain biking instead of an afternoon in the gym.
4) Stop Trying to be Perfect
Let go of your resolution to be perfect. Achieve more and enjoy life by not measuring yourself against others. If you constantly overwhelm yourself with tasks that need to be done, try making a list of everything you feel has to get done that day and then circle the three items that are of highest priority. After you’ve completed those items consider it a successful day and if you have time do more, think of it as a bonus. Don’t be afraid to say no. You aren’t a superhero, and by saying yes to every committee or volunteer project you’re setting yourself up for failure because there just isn’t enough time in the day to make everyone happy. The most important thing to remember is to reward yourself for accomplishing a goal or task. If you succeed, be happy and acknowledge what you did.
5) Forget About Them, Start with You
Britten says that most people find it easy to love someone else but don’t particularly care for themselves. “Giving your love to another without loving yourself guarantees burnout and resentment. Quit handing it out. Instead focus on how to love yourself first before you say yes to anyone else. This might be the very reason you don’t really feel loved.”